Can men really be feminists?

I often hear in articles, videos, comments, and in real life that feminism is for everyone. What exactly does it mean that feminism is for everyone? Well, from the perspective of those who repeat it like parrots, hoping that by repeating their words it will become true, feminism is there for straight men who cannot cry or express feelings, for gay men who have bad relationships with their fathers or who haven't accepted that they are gay, for trans women... because ... inclusivity, and for everyone else. Who are these 'others'? ‘Others’ as a category has existed for centuries - these are women. Women have not been at the center of their own movement because that is popular, they need to be inclusive. Nowadays, it is very important to be an inclusive person - you agree to everything without thinking too much in fear of aggressive attacks by progressive activists. Why should feminism be for women? What do those women expect anyway? In this day and age, MEN NEED FEMINISM TOO.

Given the unusually high number of men who are proudly chest-thumping while claiming they are feminists, we would expect that the number of women who were murdered, beaten up, who are victims of domestic violence, has decreased and the number of brave women who report rapists has increased. However, none of that happened. Not only that these numbers and statistics have not improved, but they have probably worsened. How can we explain this? How is it possible that women are not doing any better when so many men explain to them what it really means to be a woman and for whom feminism is actually … a-ha, now we see where the problem is.

The problem of inclusion is that it decentralizes women's issues and instead draws attention to mostly fictional men's issues. Straight or gay, in pants or in a dress, persons of the male sex will use the thousand soldiers’ worth of aggression to fight against all those (women) who disagree with them. Many male manists feminists will not deal with toxic masculinity, will not advise other men about the importance of emotional intelligence, will not be concerned about male victims of domestic violence or rape, will not care about single fathers. Their main concern and first interest ARE to convince women that pornography and prostitution are good for them. Although these same feminists would kill their own daughters if they would become prostitutes or start making porn movies. So much for empowerment.

Their other interest in feminism lies in the trans movement. Many men are unable, to be honest with themselves and acknowledge their true sexual orientation - which is why they are magically intrigued by the idea that men can be women. Because of their internalized homophobia and overall misogyny, men who refuse to be honest with themselves burn with anger when they hear women disagreeing with their new knowledge.

Whether it is "sex work" or trans women, men see feminism as a means to acquire more sex. Where is the feminist struggle when one is encouraging young women to self-actualize through Only Fans or Porn Hub sites? Where is their feminist spirit when they silence all those women who dare to speak clearly and loudly about women's problems? How dare they talk to women about who women are and who feminism is really for? How can they prove to us that they are truly feminists when they threaten us with rape or doxing?

XXX

My acquaintance was recently a victim of a type of internet bullying - doxing. Doxing is the search for and publication of private information or ID information about a particular person on the Internet, usually with malicious intent. The man who committed it is someone who presents himself as a Marxist, an egalitarian, and a trans ally, a person who works with the Status M organization, which promotes "solidarity, human rights, non-violence, tolerance, gender equality, empowerment, activism ... and which, by working in the community, primarily with men, empowers young men, fathers, future fathers and members of marginalized groups to achieve social change in the community ”.

Many of us have had the misfortune to encounter his misogynistic comments on the Internet, where he explains things to women in a condescending way. It is interesting that, to him, everything belongs to feminism-egalitarianism: promoting tolerance and solidarity and non-violence ... as well as misogynistic internet bullying. My acquaintance did not want to ignore his attack (despite well-intentioned advice to forget the whole thing) and reported everything to the police, who will monitor his internet activity for a certain period to establish whether he poses a real and serious threat.

His cowardice, hiding behind a computer screen and posting messages from secret groups he is not a member of, hoping to harm her and other women he had mentioned ... just so that the police would monitor him two days later ... pathetic. Pathetic, but true. It was this event that inspired me to write this: this male wild and unconstrained hatred towards women who do not listen to them, who do not care what these men have to explain tell them.

A feminist man who will intimidate a woman who contradicts him.

A feminist man who will silence a woman who speaks out.

A feminist man who will punish a woman who does not bow to him.

A student rarely becomes a teacher and this is especially true for men and feminism - if you cannot accept that feminism is not about you, if you do not understand that women have and need feminism EXACTLY BECAUSE OF MEN if you object to women being the main and the only topic of feminism if you wish to explain to women who women actually are, feminism is not for you and goodbye.

Finally, I don't want to turn this into ego-smoothing of those men who are normal, they are normal even without my disclaimer "not everyone is the same." Those who know I do not refer to them will not even get upset. These men will sympathize with my acquaintance, but also other women who have been victims of this or similar men.

For those men who are genuinely interested in feminism, a good start would be to wean from negative behaviors and change the way they think and treat women – do not assume you know us, do not interrupt us, do not pity us, do not finish our sentences, and do not think you will be the one to know what is best for us. Listening, reading, and educating, is the best way to gain much-needed knowledge about women, feminism, but also about how to become a better man.

A. Horvat

Translation: Tamara Dogandžić